Lockdown 2: Here we go again! Week 2

Queues and unbelievable Steps!

I feel like I have queued a lot this last week. Our visit to visit Holly involved many queues on the roads to get there as the M1 was closed. Then after a nightmare journey we queued for 30 minutes at a McDonalds drive thru to be told, as we were stuck in the queue, they weren’t doing McFlurries that day!!! Not happy would be putting it mildly as I had to compromise with a donut for Holly!! But Holly was happy- ish with it anyway. Next time I’m not sitting the same queue- ice cream from the shop instead I think. Although at the moment, Holly is self-isolating, as her school bubble is closed so it will be a while before we will be able to see her. So it’s back to FaceTime again.

Missing her so much already. 😢

Like everyone else, not a lot has happened this week. Life feels like that saying ‘all work and no play!’… not that we can do much about that! I do love my job though, which helps – there’s never a dull moment there!

Anyway … you know I like to try and end my blog posts on a fun happy note … well … my greatest discovery this week has amused me. You may recall that I taught myself crochet in Lockdown 1? Well… this week I discovered that it is the best exercise I could do!! Yes exercise!!! I can sit on the sofa for two hours watching tv, doing crochet and my Apple Watch thinks I’ve done 10000 steps!!! Seriously the other other day my watch said I’d done almost 16 000 steps! I have never done that many steps in a day!! 😆😆😆

Well it’s on to week 3, and in the words of the great Bon Jovi…. “Woah we’re half way there!!!” Half way through lockdown 2 that is! Take care everyone! Look after each other 😍

Lockdown 2 – Here we go Again! Week 1

ALL FOG AND FIREWORKS!

So first week of Lockdown part 2! Mostly full of fireworks. Now… as a child I loved Bonfire Night! Family and friends gathered at one house, hot dogs with fried onions, Parkin and bonfire toffee on a stick from the shop that welded your teeth together and filled you with E numbers! We had a bonfire in the garden and some fireworks. I liked fireworks back then … we had a small box … most of them stayed on the ground and only an odd one actually went up in the air and if you were lucky they made a “snap, crackle or pop!” Not that mattered we were all full of E numbers by then! 😆😆😆 All of this on one night… Bonfire Night!

But now… the fireworks are so loud they shake your house, go so high they almost disappear and they go on for a week! Now this is ok if you like fireworks and Holly when she was younger liked to watch them in the garden or outside. We even went to a couple of big displays.

But as Holly has got older she has got more and more anxious about fireworks. As she is hypersensitive to some sounds Holly hears and recognises fireworks as soon as they start even if they are far away. She flinches and tenses her body and grabs hold of any hand nearby. She starts to sweat and her hands go clammy and she paces around , shoulders hunched as if there is something scary above her. There are unhappy moaning noises and crying. It’s really upsetting to see and experience. We’ve found playing loud music or the tv on very loud helps but doesn’t prevent the anxiety. If it was just one night it wouldn’t be so bad but 5 nights running is exhausting for Holly – especially this year as so many people had fireworks at home because large organised displays were cancelled. Hopefully that is it now for this year.

Another thing I remember as a child… the day after bonfire night … there was always fog or was it smog? This year … 3 days of dull dreary fog!!! Don’t know about you but I found this depressing … locked down and even if you did go out you couldn’t see anything! The walk with Poppy dog was like walking through a constant white fluffy tunnel! Luckily the fog lifted and so did my mood! A lovely visit to see Holly with Covid restrictions observed brightened the end of week 1 in lockdown.

And this was the best surprise gift ever! It cheered me up so much (and also made me cry.) Holly is getting on really well in her placement. She loves it and the staff are great. She is very happy and so we are very happy. 😊 But I still miss her so much every single day. 😍

Hope you’ve all had a good first week of Lockdown 2. That’s 1 down – 3 to go!

** Younger readers please note ‘E numbers’ refers to the additives that were added to food for flavour or colour during the 70s and 80s!! 😆😆😆

Is there no end to the madness…

A lovely visit to see Holly with Grandad Geoff and a ride in the car to get a McFlurry. As we stopped to eat, a robin stopped nearby for his worm tea too. ❤️ 👼🏼

Feels like it’s been a stressful week already and it’s only Wednesday!! I’m fed up now – just need some normality – not that our normal has ever been anything like normal!! I need things to look forward to. I Miss hugs, drama rehearsals and meeting friends. It feels like there’s no end to all this madness.
But seeing Holly and a great tap dancing session (with social distancing/Covid measures in place) was just what I needed to cheer me up tonight. Tomorrow is another day. We can get through this together ❤️💙

#checkonyourfriends

Hooray! A little bit of normality…

So when it’s back to school time I usually post this…

This year… oh so different. Have to say with Covid I personally feel anxious but even more anxious about how the whole lockdown/no school has affected some children. Lack of transition, back to routine … I could go on and on. Luckily Holly continued to go to school throughout lockdown and 3 days in the holidays – something we will be forever grateful.

For me this last week has been very strange especially as Holly has been at her residential placement. I’ve not got the usual end of holidays SEN parent exhaustion or the “can’t wait to go back to work for a rest” feeling! Which is nice but instead I still miss Holly. So much. Every single day! It makes me sad and I still feel guilty. But she loves it. She is obviously very happy as she talks about all the people there all the time.

Now we have seen Holly over the last 4 months. She comes for a day every weekend and through the holidays I took grandad over to pick Holly up and go for a drive every week. We’ve had some lovely visits, always entertaining and some ups and downs.

When it’s hilarious to press that one button on your communication iPad over and over.

Ok so on home visits we have to go into our own old version of lockdown mode – we still have all the locks on doors and cupboards etc and we forget and leave the odd thing out that she may eat or destroy! 🙈

This photo taken just before she ate the peanuts out of the bird feeder on the window behind her!

But she usually finds unguarded items with 5 minutes of her arrival and we can remove them! But it’s so worth it. I think she enjoys her visits. She keeps us on our toes and it’s great to revisit those unusual activities and see Holly smiling and laughing.

She’s getting on really well at her placement. She’s settled, looks really healthy and is happy and enjoying life. Now we’re back to some kind of routine with school, placement and visits in place it will get even better. 💗

I just hope this year continues to get better… I really don’t want to go through the last 6 months again!

The birthday present dilemma

It’s Holly’s 15th Birthday! Part of me thinks “Where has the time gone?” Another part is thinking “How on earth did we get this far?!” 🙈😆😆😆 When we reach milestone events I still can’t help thinking “what if…” and… what could have been but I can’t dwell on that or it just gets me down. Then that leads to crying in my car. No! We’ve had a really lovely day. I have to be positive!

Holly opening presents whilst eating chocolate hence the mmmm eating noise

Our biggest dilemma is birthday presents. Holly has never really played with toys or interacted with age appropriate equipment or games. Apart from the obvious… clothes (see link below) it’s difficult to think of present ideas. What do you buy someone who’s idea of a fun activity is lying on the floor to post small stones and bits of leaves through a hole in the gate?!

Holly loves posting and threading. So this year, as I have a bit of time and using my new found crochet lockdown skills, I decided to make some! I made crochet flower shapes and chain laces using cotton yarn for threading They were quick and easy and I’m expecting some ripping and destruction so I can just make more. I then thought I’d make a bag to put them in.

I also made Holly a poncho – I’m thinking it’s got holes so she may want to thread things in it rather than rip and shred?! The Master Shredder

Holly is hypersensitive to smell. She smells food before anyone else. She knows when the chip shop opens!!! 😆😆😆 She likes to smell people’s hair, clothes, bedding etc and a recent sensory assessment organised by her residential placement suggested trying to introduce smells that Holly likes. So I made some sensory smelly bags using herbs from the garden to try. I made 3 sets and have fabric ready to make more as I am expecting some ripping and destruction.

Holly also likes to look at photos and videos of people that she knows. She’s so nosey and needs to know where everyone is. So I asked friends and relatives to video Short clips of themselves and put them all together for a birthday video. Holly loved this and has been watching over and over again all day. The first tome she watched it she was mesmerized and said people’s names when they appeared.

We also bought Holly a hammock. I didn’t make that! 😆😆😆

We will see how she gets in with these and I’ve already got a few ideas of things to make for Christmas…

We’ve made it to summer holidays … and the first Home visit

It’s been a very strange 3 months as I’m sure you will agree and the last month really busy. Busy at work and also I think I tried to keep myself busy just to get through. I’ve rediscovered painting and taught myself to crochet.

See more pictures at Old Button Tales Art

I’ve made lots of end of term and birthday gifts. Which I have loved doing. We’ve also had interesting moments, difficult times and some hilarious moments I never expected – putting grandad on a Zoom cricket umpires meeting with 25 others being one of these! 🤣🤣🙈🤣🤣 Let’s just say hilarious and we all felt like part of it as we could all hear it! Why do over 70s shout when it comes to technology? 🤔

We’ve had some lovely visits to see Holly. We’ve had to go for walks in the park because of Covid restrictions.

There’s been FaceTime with Holly. Sometimes with Grandad. Just look at both their smiles!

And when Grandad joined our bubble I took him with me for a trip to the ice cream parlour with Holly.

Then today we had our first home visit. Holly spent all morning in the garden.

And she even found her old spot in the shed! Quite a bit of flower/plant pulling…. Holly pruning! But it will grow back! She especially loved picking the strawberries and squeezing them!

We’ve been for a walk in a local park to get ice cream. Lots of hugs and singing.

A great day. Looking forward to next time.

Completely different to the usual summer holidays experience. Please see my previous blog posts. How to stack the dishwasher with a Holly in the House

The dreaded summer holidays

Febrile Convulsions

The similarities of the tv series #ThereSheGoes and our own life experiences are just so uncanny. Tonight’s episode just mirrored our experiences- the smashing of pictures – we didn’t put new pictures up for years, trying to go out (unsuccessfully) and the terrifying experience of febrile convulsions. These were some of the scariest moments I’ve ever experienced not least because I felt so helpless. This happened twice before Holly was 1, the second time we spent a week in hospital whilst Holly had lots of different tests. At 2 she had tests for epilepsy which came back negative.

Luckily we haven’t had the fits since although there have been moments where she freezes stares into space and an incident where she collapsed at school and couldn’t speak at all – we spend the day at the hospital but she was back to her normal hyper, destructive self by teatime.
If you’ve experienced a child having febrile convulsions you will know how scary it can be. We got used to checking Holly’s temperature all the time and had Calpol ready if needed.
Here’s a link to the nhs information about febrile convulsions Febrile Convulsions NHS

If you haven’t watched this tv program yet I highly recommend it. It is superb – many laugh out loud moments entwined with some serious home truths that make you cry. There She Goes BBC iplayer

Wow! This is a first … thanks to Lockdown 💗

It’s the eve of Jasmines birthday and I have to say for the first time EVER… I am actually ready and organised!

Being a sibling of a special needs child, our youngest daughter has come to accept things may be delayed, a bit different or not possible as we have always had to fit around Hollys needs. I’ve said before siblings of children with additional needs are amazing as my previous blog explains. Click on the link here 👉 Being a sibling to an ASD child

Now birthdays are usually no exception. Now don’t get me wrong, they never go unrecognised or not celebrated and we’ve always tried our best to make the day (sometimes the day or two after) special! 😆 But it’s always been last minute rushing around the day before or on the day! We’ve even been known to go and choose a supermarket birthday cake on the morning of her birthday.

This year because of lockdown… Jasmine hasn’t been so busy and I’ve had the time to organise stuff. Woo hoo! My lovely friend made a special surprise birthday cake which I picked up earlier…

I even ordered some special balloons. I never remember that! Also Holly tends to bite them or in later years finds them a major source of anxiety. With Holly in her new placement I’ve had the time and energy to order presents in advance. And I’ve even had the time, some may say too much time, to make some presents using my new found crochet skills…

Hmmm… didn’t get the hat finished. Hope she likes them!! I enjoyed making them anyway! 😆😆😆

I suppose now the problem is we’re still in lockdown so no party ☹️ with lots of friends. We’re putting a gazebo up in the garden so a couple of friends can come round and have a socially distanced chat and take away. It will also be strange without Holly here. But we will see her at the weekend and make up for it ❤️

At least this year will be a year to remember… and probably the only one where I will be organised!! Ha ha ha …

Is this The Twilight Zone?

Twelve weeks of Lockdown, 14 weeks of Hollys placement and 1 week back at work ‘properly’! Well kind of … back in the building with some of my class. I loved it but it’s strange and far from normal. So at the moment it’s not like full lockdown but not normal either – somewhere in between! It could easily be an episode of The Twilight Zone.

So at the weekend we had a brilliant visit to see Holly , still outside. She was amazing. A lovely walk and ice cream from the shop. She was calm and happy. I’m sure she’s got even taller!!

The biggest thing I’ve learnt this week though is… NEVER let Poppy-dog out in the garden unattended when it’s dark!!! So one night I went out to see where she’d got to and found her digging trenches in the garden!! 🤬 So I shouted her and she went straight in (which never happens). So I followed her to find she’d only brought in a live hedgehog! Popped it on the settee and then sat next to it as if to say “meet my new friend”!!! 😱😱😱

Grounded! Please note not a real hedgehog this time!

As an animal lover I was horrified. But having experienced many wildlife ‘gifts’ from the cats and occasionally Holly I went into automatic pilot. I fetched a large plant pot and scooped it up, checking it was ok the best I could as I did so. It was still breathing and I couldn’t see any injuries. I left it outside and the dog was grounded for the rest of the evening. It had gone the next morning and we have seen it since walking across the garden after Poppy picked it up and tried to bring it in again! But for now the dog is not allowed out unattended! 🙈🙈🙈

The hedgehog walking across the garden earlier.

Anyone else ever known a dog bring in a hedgehog? 🤦🏻‍♀️

The easing of lockdown begins…

It’s been a while since I’ve had that ‘Sunday night back to school feeling’! That mixture of sadness because the weekend is almost over, the dread, anxiety and excitement for what the week ahead might bring but also looking forward to seeing people again. I remember this feeling from being a child and I know a lot of fellow teachers will know exactly what I mean! 🙈😱😆

Even though I have been working throughout lockdown, tomorrow I get to see some of my own class, in my own classroom with some of my own stuff doing the job I love. I can’t wait. A little bit of normality although it’s going to be far from normal!! But part of me is also scared! Scared of what could happen, will we be ill? Will we pass on the virus? Who knows? This is not a blog about choices – everyone needs to make their own decisions for their own family. I respect that. Let’s just see. One week at a time…

On another note… today we visited Holly and took her to the park. It took two attempts to get to the park as the first time we had to return to the toilet after Holly pulled her pad.

Holly is getting so tall. She’s taller than me now. She must take after her dad! She’s nearly as tall as him. We had a walk around the park, Holly holding on tightly to my hand.

After that we went for a drive. We stopped at a shop to get Holly an ice cream. Which always makes Holly smile.

Holly did get a bit grabby and started pinching on the way back – this is usual behavior caused by the anxiety she feels around any transition.

We had a lovely afternoon and it was great to see Holly even if I have now got a little less hair and a few extra bruises. 🙈 It was worth it. ❤️❤️❤️

When I got home I found this posted through my door. How lovely. It made me smile. 😊 I will be taking this to work with me tomorrow. It’s going to be so hard seeing people again and not being able to give them a hug!! When this is all over and we can go near people again I will be making up for it. So friends beware… there is going to be lots and lots of hugging when it’s allowed!! 🤗🤗🤗