How to stack the dishwasher with a Holly in the house! (Or just a typical holiday morning!)

This is just for fun! I can do this now as the end of the summer holidays is in sight! 😆😆😆

Your mission…

So mission accepted…

7:30 Dishwasher status – full and clean.

Holly wakes up. Challenge is to get her to go straight to the toilet but she lays on the floor at the top of the stairs head, arms and legs banging. First meltdown because agent Daddy Tim has already gone to work!

8:15 At last… dressed. Having breakfast with intermittent jumps on the trampoline and rides on the swings. Manage to take out a couple of bowls and spoons, 3 mugs and a plate from dishwasher to use.

Next some drawing, puzzles and threading in between more bouncing on gym ball and trampoline.

9:30 trip to the toilet. Unfortunately minor toilet accident requiring clean shorts. Meltdown number 2 as replacement shorts are not the same or possibly not the ones wanted?

10:00 Back up arrives in the form of Agent Grandad Geoff who agrees to take charge whilst I attempt to unstack dishwasher. Mission paused by a naked teenager streaking round the garden. Redressed but not happy, Then the battle to stop the fridge raiding begins!

10:30 Time for a calming ride in the car. Trip to the ice cream parlour with Grandad listening to Mamma Mia … perfect!

11:40 Arrive home nice and calm. iPad is used to distract whilst I sweep then vacuum the trampoline to remove any incontinence pad debris scattered over it from the previous incident!

12:00 managed to unstack rest of dishwasher whilst cooking lunch (or sticking stuff quickly in oven!) Things start to get a bit uneasy as we get hungry. Meltdown number 3 as Holly doesn’t do waiting!

12:30 successful toilet trip before lunch. As usual a race to finish your food before Holly steals it! Then another battle of fridge raiding prevention even though we have just eaten!

1:15 Directed outside to trampoline. A good bounce with intervals of hanging over the garden gate to see what’s happening out front and a push of the doll in the pushchair around house and garden. All closely watched!

1:45 indicates ‘watch tv’ on communication iPad. Five minutes of deciding what to watch and then changing mind with Grandad until I insist on watching Mr Tumble to the end of the program before the next thing! Dishwasher restack has begun! But abandoned when Holly decides to go to bedroom to watch iPad. Have to follow to prevent repeat of the stripping or trashing of room.

2:00 Garden again for bouncing and swinging. A bit of gardening or apple/leaf/flower/fruit picking/pulling! Directed inside before whole garden becomes just a load of empty stalks!!!

2:15 distracted briefly as Holly finds the sun cream bottle and decides to spread it on herself and the kitchen floor, table and chairs. Change of clothes required. Meltdown prevented by promise of a snack.

2:40 A brief moment of calm as Holly lays on swing seat listening to mamma Mia on iPad. Dishwasher – stacked and set off

2:50 Mission complete! Yay!!

And this was in good time! 🙈 There was also lots of pinching, grabbing & constant retrieving things and locking away but overall an average ok day! (For us anyway!)

#sixweeksistoolong #mummy_jet

What’s in a name?

So why call the blog Mummy_jet?

Well Holly didn’t say mummy for many years and yes I know she doesn’t say many words. From an early age she said “daddy” and “baby” which is how she still refers to Jasmine (even though she is now 12!!!) Holly was probably about 7 when she first said “mummy” and it took a while to become part of her regular words that she uses!

And then it became “Mummy Jet” (she struggles to say Jeanette) and daddy became “Daddy Tim” Now… she says it all the time! 😆😆😆 Have a listen…

Communication iPad

Being able to communicate with Holly has always been a struggle. Over the years we’ve tried many different ways of using Makaton symbols and pecs. At 3 years old we tried picture exchange for treats and we’ve also tried a daily calendar, choice cards, now and next boards … we tried them all. And all resulted in the same way – Holly became obsessed with the cards – no matter what size they were (and we’ve tried many sizes from tiny to A5!) Every time they caused major stress and anxiety and they ended up ripped, eaten or for most of them, posted behind the radiator!

So we were thrilled to be given an iPad by Speech and Language Therapy at Easter. Well she can’t post that behind the radiator! And she has tried!! 😆😆 I had looked at different apps and seen some in action at work but I wasn’t sure which to go for? So I was very grateful for the support from SALT.

It’s still early but I think we’ve made lots of progress. Holly actually likes using the iPad which is the first plus point. It doesn’t go on YouTube so she is not distracted (we still have the other one for that). We use the app ‘Grid Player’. It looks like the grids Holly uses at school and a grid we had started using at home.

When we first got it she could find things on it herself even though there were lots of different grids with different things on each. She remembered where they were.

We have now limited the grids to make it easier and made the grids more relevant for Holly.

She seems to be able to find the ‘poo’ button on the toilet grid at the most inappropriate moment usually when we have visitors! And of course she finds it hilarious!

I am amazed how easy it is to adapt. We have now added our own grids showing daily routines, different activities for the garden and inside as well as grids for people, places to go etc and respite have also added some too.

Holly is very good at finding food that she wants on it but the funniest time she has used it was once in the toilet, I was telling Holly off for shredding her pad again and explaining that it made a mess and someone has to clean it up etc – you can imagine the speech! Holly was sat on the toilet, with a typical teenager expression and had found the button saying “quiet” in the singing grid and was repeatedly pressing it like she was trying to shut me up! 🙈🤣🤣🤣

We’ve made lots of progress so far. Our aim is that it will help us to communicate with Holly and her with us and in doing this reduce her anxiety. We will see…

Swinging!

So 3 different swings in the garden and she chooses to sit on the BACK OF THE SWING SEAT!

Here she is sat there looking at me through the kitchen window! Seriously #NoFear #NoSenseofDanger this girl 🙈😱😆 eventhough she has fallen off a few times! She has such a high pain threshhold mind or she doesn’t always feel pain so don’t always know if she’s hurt herself. If something hurts really bad she tends to laugh.

She does love swinging and bouncing https://mummy-jet.home.blog/2019/08/09/bouncing-and-swinging/

Happy Birthday

So what do you buy a 14 year old with severe learning difficulties and autism for a birthday present?

Well… a doll and full size buggy, a bucket swing, board books, toddler toys and a game with plastic poo – to name a few! 😆😆😆

Not your typical gifts for a teenager but Holly loved them. Every year has become more and more difficult to think of ideas as Hollys development is way below her actual age.

But she has also made so much progress. These gifts wouldn’t have been suitable a few years ago. Then she struggled to use any swing apart from the disability seat because she didn’t hold on. She had no interest at all in dolls where as today she unwrapped the doll, said “baby” and put her in the pushchair.

She loved the new swing. I only said, “what’s outside?” She looked through the window and ran outside and sat straight on it with a big smile. We had many other ingenious presents too. Holly loved them all.

The cake presented its usual challenges (not only as it had to be gluten free) Holly wanted to help herself and even though I tried to keep it safe she managed to distract me long enough to get in the box and grab a handful! 🙈😆😆 We did have candles but not sure Holly liked them and so Jasmine blew them out.

Overall it was a good day. Another birthday! Another year!! 🎂🎁❤️

Bouncing and swinging

Holly loves to bounce and I have to say this gym ball was a good buy! She has used it a lot this week!

This bouncing means we occasionally get moments of calm like this

Although very short moments and they are very rare! 😆😆

She also loves the trampoline – outside and inside.

Another way of stimming is swinging. Holly likes this too. We have a swing outside – the normal swing and a disability seat type swing. It’s taken a long time but she can now use the normal seat swing (and remember to hold on! Sometimes! 🙈😊)

Thinking now maybe our next purchase or possible birthday present could be a different kind of swing – maybe the round ‘nest’ type swing so she can lay on it or something inside? Anyone got any suggestions please?

Previous blog about gym ball https://mummy-jet.home.blog/2019/07/05/sensory-needs-2-the-need-to-move/

The day after…

So after a lovely day at the wedding last week …

https://mummy-jet.home.blog/2019/08/04/double-life/

The day after it was back to reality. We all returned home and we went out for a walk. A walk that usually takes about an hour at the most but took us two and a half hours! Not because of any disaster or delay just Holly dropping to the floor and having major meltdowns all the way round!

But we did eventually get home. (There was one point where I thought I might have to run home for the car!) Once home she had her tea then spent 20 minutes bouncing on the trampoline with the dog and swinging on her swing in the garden! This seemed calm her and make her less anxious.

Nothing like and good bounce or a good swing to make you feel better!!

Well no two days are ever the same! Every day is different. 🙃🤪😆😟 I’m sure we will have more days like this but other days may be calm or energetic? Who knows?

“I am Ungardening the garden!”

It’s that time of year again…

… fruits and vegetables ready to be picked! I am having a difficult week with Hollys challenging behaviour so today I’m going to try writing about something else!

I used to like growing my own fruit and veg. The girls used to love planting seeds when they were younger. Well Jasmine did! Holly used to just play with the compost and then eat it! (She Still does!) 🙈😆😆

But over the last couple of years I’ve been unable to spend as much time as I would have liked in the garden and as a result, this year, alot of things growing are things that just take care of themselves: apples, blackberries, raspberries, strawberries, herbs.

I have managed to plant some tomato plants and salad leaves in hanging baskets (although late) this year, but that is all.

The other issue I have, is that Holly likes to pick leaves! (And flowers, stems, fruit etc!) She especially likes picking fruit before it is ready ie when it first appears! 🙈🙈

Luckily we have a bumper crop of apples and blackberries this year so we should get to eat some! 🤞 And we’ve managed to rescue a few raspberries and strawberries so far! The garden is looking a little overgrown now but there are some lovely flowers amongst the weeds! 😆😆😆 I especially love the roses and Buddleja bush which always attract lots of butterflies.

But I did read something yesterday that made me smile – Yes I got chance to read something! It was late and Holly was in bed! It was about leaving your garden to nature. Here it is…

https://www.theguardian.com/news/shortcuts/2019/aug/05/garden-wildlife-haven-rewilding-ungardening-pond

Hopefully I can find some time to prune the trees and bushes back this year before they take over like triffids! I would also like some raised beds building so Holly doesn’t walk over everything. And maybe in future years I might have time to grow more again. Until then, if anyone asks, I am “Ungardening my garden”! 😆😆😆

Any suggestions for growing more fruit and veg or ideas for stopping Holly from her unique way of pruning (pulling everything off!) are very welcome!

Double life!

So this weekend we got a day off from being the ‘tag team carers “Mummy-Jet and Daddy-Tim” and we were just ourselves! We were friends of the bride and groom.

Photo credits to T.Mc Photography https://www.facebook.com/tammymacphotos/

Yes it was our friends’ wedding. It was a fabulous day in a stunning venue with lots of friends.

Something Holly really would not have coped with at all. We wouldn’t have been able to relax and so not sure any of us would have been able to enjoy the day then. Holly had a lovely time at respite with her carers going out for walks doing the things she enjoys.

I think when a person first becomes a parent they become encased in a ‘baby world bubble’. You become a different person for a while, doing activities and entering a world meeting people you wouldn’t normally meet unless you had a baby. Sometimes those people don’t actually know your name but you are known as someone’s mummy or someone’s daddy. This bubble grows as your child grows then at some point, which you don’t always notice, the bubble pops and the world returns to how it was but with your child in that world.

We had a similar experience when we got the dog and I’m sure some of you dog owners can relate to this. When you take a dog for a walk – people talk to you! Mostly other people with dogs and you may regularly see them out walking. But you don’t get to know their name only the dogs name! 😆😆😆 Then you end up saying things like “ooh there’s ‘Deano’ and his owner!”

I think if you have a child with additional needs that ‘baby world bubble’ just keeps on growing. You continue to meet people and attend groups/activities which you wouldn’t if you didn’t have a child with additional needs, and you’re still known as someone’s mummy! And I have to say for anyone who meets Holly, yes, it’s pretty memorable! But sometimes we get to spend time out of the bubble and in the real ‘normal’ world and be ourselves and not someone’s parent. It can feel like you’re leading a Double life! 🤣🤣🤣

We had a fabulous day celebrating our friends’ wedding, catching up with other friends and we were so pleased we could share their day. And to be honest we needed it!

I know some people reading this won’t understand why we didn’t take her with us but anyone who knows Holly will know straight away. We were not going to put Holly in any situation that would cause major anxiety and stress because not only would that massively impact on her behaviour it would also impact on everyone else’s enjoyment of the day and that’s not fair to Holly or the people around her.

Today Holly has loved looking at all the photos and saying the names of the people in them. She especially liked the funny photo booth ones! 😆😆

Lots of memories made this weekend and I’m sure many more to come. 💙

The Earl of Doncaster is a stunning hotel- take a look… https://www.theearl.co.uk/

Holidays

We’ve recently returned from a lovely few days ‘holiday’!

This was our view for 4 days. We went to The Thomas Centre, an Autism friendly Holiday Centre in Lincolnshire. After years of trying different places with Holly – many not appropriate, too far or just not safe enough for Holly this is now the only place we will go on holiday. We’ve tried self catering cottages but there was always some issue which we didn’t discover until we got there eg glass doors, a 6ft sheer drop in the garden! We spent the whole time worrying about things getting damaged or broken. At the Thomas Centre everything is sturdy, minimal and hard wearing and they will ask you before hand if you would like breakables removing.

It’s quiet, peaceful and surrounded by fields. As it is a specialised holiday, everyone is in the same situation (including the owners) so you don’t get any tutting or disapproving looks and everyone is understanding. Here… anything goes!

There’s plenty to do. There’s a play barn.

A go-kart track.

A playground, trampoline, full size football pitch, barbecue area, a fenced pond area, shared indoor communal area.

Lots of open space which is great for flying kites!

Best of all, for us, there is an indoor pool which each family can book for an hour a day just for them. This is the highlight for us and this year Holly enjoyed being in the pool. It’s great because you can have the pool and changing facilities all to yourselves so there is no stress around others when getting changed etc it’s quiet and peaceful.

We were lucky enough to have great weather last week so we spent most of our time outside following Holly around. If you’re brave enough there are things to do outside the centre. We did actually venture to the beach this year – that’s a whole different story! 🤣 https://www.facebook.com/762409504104122/posts/914440662234338?sfns=1

We also went for rides in the car, for the calming effect, and had ice cream but we spent most of our time at the site.

Not got a photo of Holly with her ice-cream as she always ate it so fast! One of the benefits of a specialised holiday Centre is the people you meet have similar experiences and knowledge to share and you don’t feel like it’s just your family who are going through certain things/challenges.

It does get to a certain time in the evening and you see all the adults sitting outside there accommodations with a glass of something! 😆😆😆 Also a good time to chat to others.

Have to say for us it’s the closest we ever get to relaxing on holiday with Holly. We love it. We have been coming here for years now!

So if you have someone with severe autism in your family and struggle to find suitable places to go on holiday then I couldn’t recommend this more! It is amazing! We’ve already booked for next year!

Here is a link to the website https://www.thethomascentre.co.uk/

Or give Richard, Jan and their fabulous team a call. They are brilliant and always make you feel welcome.